I Love this Small Town! I vote yes!

For the first 29 years of my life, I was a military brat.  I lived all over the world, and saw some of the most amazing places that most could only dream about seeing, and it was awesome... but I can also tell you, at times, it was very lonely to never have "that place you call home..." that is, until we moved to Lebanon, Ohio.
     On this day, as I have many days, I wonder if the people I so fondly refer to as the "Lebonites"  (those born and raised for generations here), really have any idea of the treasure they have in that legacy.  I also wonder do they recognize the incredible value in keeping this town alive for future generations to be so blessed.  As I read comments about a new bond levy, and pros and cons about should we or shouldn't we, I feel the need to just share my light of this situation as a Lebonite wannabe.
     Fourteen years ago, my husband and I moved here with our then two year old son.  We bought a small home and I started teaching at Dunlavy.  I was from "out of town" and that was very apparent quickly to me as a new member of this community.  Everyone knew everyone, everyone knew everyones business, and if they didn't they would certainly find out.  It was a little bit of a culture shock to say the least.  However, what I also quickly learned, was that when you became part of the fold of this town, people were kind and generous and more helpful than I could have ever dreamed.  The bottom line is that people cared about one another, about their neighbors, and about their neighbors neighbors, and it was finally somewhere I could call home, finally, I felt so amazingly blessed.
     Now fast forward 14 years, 3 children all students in this community, all technically first generation Lebonites, as this is where they have always lived.  Although I can't say I hated a military life, I can in the same breath tell you that giving my children the opportunity to grow up in a town like Lebanon, has been one of the greatest gifts I feel we could have ever given them.  They are born and raised in this community, this is their home, and they are Warriors... for this I am so thankful!  They have a sense of home that I never had growing up, what a treasure this is for them.
     As we look at this upcoming bond levy, where the state will pay over 60% of the bill, I can't believe what an amazing opportunity this is for the children of this community.  This levy will provide them a safer, healthier, more competitive school district to grow and thrive... and will also keep this community where it needs to be as a solid educational foundation for future children.  Whether you are a Lebonite or moved here for the promise you found in this small town, please please please, I am begging you, let this town continue to be the place we all know and love and invest in our schools.  There is no greater return than providing this opportunity for our children and the future generations of this town.

The blessing of a child far defines you as a human being, more than anything else I have ever known.  In the single moment that your child is born, you suddenly go from the world being about “me” to the world being about “them.”  You hear people tell you this, you shake your head and smile the knowing smile, because of course you will love your child, this is what mothers do right?  However, I can tell you that I was not prepared for the overwhelming, bowl you over, take your breath away love that I felt when I met Joshua.  When I saw that beautiful, perfect, wonderful little boy for the very first time, I think my heart skipped a beat.  I was awestruck at the wonder of such a creature belonging to us, and amazed that the Lord could be so good to me... how did I qualify for such an incredible job as this?  I remember holding Joshua that very first night, looking at his little chest rising and falling, and thinking I must have tricked someone somewhere that they thought I was deserving of such a glorious job.  This kid had blonde hair, could he really belong to me?  It was my little secret. I held it close. I definitely wasn’t letting on that I was highly inadequate for such an honor.  I would just have to pretend... and then there was a second child.

I remember being afraid to have a second child for the longest time.  Afterall, I loved Joshua beyond words, how could I ever possibly love any other human being as much as I loved my little boy.  And then it was there again, that moment of awe and wonder; the moment I saw her beautiful little face, hers almost identical to my own, knowing without a doubt that this one belonged to me.  She looked exactly like me, my mini me, our Sweetie.  This was it, we had the perfect little family, even numbers, a boy and a girl.  Life was amazing and wonderful and everyone was believing I had this whole thing under control and knew exactly what I was doing.  I was the mother of two afterall, I was an expert at all this stuff.  Ha!  I had them all fooled.  

But of course, as is typical with life, the plans change and surprises come, sometimes in the form of beautiful little girls.  We went from perfectly even to third times a charm and this time I actually start to believe I kind of do know what I am doing, sort of, or at least I am becoming convincing enough that I have even fooled myself somewhat.  

So here I am, the mother of three children and I sit here and admit, I take this job super seriously and am sometimes over the top about it.  If I am going to continue this charade of knowing what I am doing at this job I was ill prepared for and untrained at, I at least have to walk and talk the part right?  This is important stuff!

Recently, in my continued charade, I realized that I am actually doing this and maybe even doing an ok job.  Could it be that I got this, possibly?  My daughter, a fifth grader, came home from school all excited and happy that her birthday, the big 1-1 was tomorrow.  Meanwhile, it had been a long day working on curriculum for me, my husband was out of town, and as I was making dinner I was trying to rationalize in my mind how I was going to go “buy” something for my daughters birthday at school the next day, something I never ever do.  I vowed to myself a long time ago that I would be the best stay at home mom that ever worked.  Essentially what this meant was that I would do my darndest to do everything a stay at home mom might do while working full time, sometimes not an easy feat... this included making homemade birthday treats, providing stuff for parties, making Valentines, and making sure my kids had all the help and support they needed with homework and projects and sports and whatever else necessary.  So I sat there that night trying to figure out what I could buy that would “appease” the Mommy conscious and fly with the fifth grader when she pops out with this at dinner, “Mom, one of the things I love about you is that even though you work, you still do lots of cool Mommy stuff that a lot of other moms that work don’t do.”  Of course this is followed by the ,”Can we make my favorite cookies for my birthday tomorrow at school?”   Of course, how can I deny this beautiful smiling face, the one that acknowledged my Mommy work as good?  Right?  So off we went to Krogers at 7:00 at night to buy the necessary ingredients for the favorite cookies.  

I may not have this Mommy thing in the bag, there are many days where I am reminded that I really have not a clue what I am doing... but there are also days when the simplicity of a little girls words let me know that I also have that “Cool Mommy stuff” and lets me know that at some point I went from faking it to being a “real Mommy.”

“Sometimes,' said Pooh, 'the smallest things take up the most room in your heart.” 

― A.A. Milne

Waiting

6-5-13

   There are moments in time that make you stop and think, reevaluate, question, and regroup.  Of course, as I am ending a school year, this always seems like a particularly crazy time... graduation, retirements, and students moving on... all of which cause me to reflect on my professional career.  This is the time of year where it seems my laundry takes on a life of its own, the dust bunnies actually start running around the house, and I try to keep swimming until there is time to catch up with myself.  However, this also happens to be the pivotal time of year for soccer as well... the dreaded soccer tryouts.  It is at this time of year that I find myself evaluating myself as an over the top mom... wondering if I wear that label proudly or simply erratically.
    Since Josh was 11 years old and started trying out for "select" soccer it has seemed that this time of year was especially stressful.  For the Mom who likes to be in charge, have things in order, make sure things happen the way I think they should, this time of year sends me into a tailspin.  Let me set the stage for you... you watch your child trying out, you evaluate the field, you compare them to the 50-80 other players around them, you watch the evaluators... are they looking at your child, what are they thinking, is your child representing themselves in the best light possible, did they get enough sleep, did you pump them up enough... and then there is the dreaded field switch.... are they on a good field, could they be on a better field, oh no, they got moved down.  And all of this, totally out of my control, in the hands of someone who does not know my child like I do, someone who does not care about my child like I do, someone who is often fulfilling favors at the same time they are picking a team.
   It was bad enough when it was just Joshua, but now we have 3 children that all play select soccer.  I really thought last summer with Joshua trying out for the high school team was bad enough; two months of training before you ever even found out if you made the team; him telling me he made it resulting in my bursting into tears for the stress of it all and him thinking his mother just might have lost it entirely.  However, tonight as my Sweetie tries out for the "elite" team and I wait for the "call" for my youngest knowing that others have already gotten the call, I have picked strawberries, made strawberry jam, folded laundry, watched several episodes of Dance Moms, read a book, and even opened a bottle of wine waiting waiting waiting.  Waiting SUCKS!  Sorry for those this might offend but there is just no other word.  Do these people not know I am sitting here checking my phone more than necessary to make sure I didn't miss a call, that my volume is up, that my phone is working... oh yeah, I know, it just gets stupid!
  My conclusion is this... I have never in my entire life loved three people so desperately.  I want for them such joy and success, I want for them to be treated fairly, I want politics to play no part in their placement on any team, and I want to be in control... but instead I just have to wait.  I do not wait well, it is not my strength, in fact I am a terrible "waiter"... just ask my husband.  But still.... I wait!